First let me apologize for going MIA these past few weeks. The past few weeks I have been going through a lot of big changes and transitions in my life, which is causing me to question EVERYTHING! It’s beyond hard to put into words all of my feelings and emotions. I’m not even sure that I am ready or have fully processed everything. Needless to say all of the extra stresses in my life is not helping my Crohn’s. San Pellegrino has become my new best friend!
Building and creating a new life is not easy and I don’t think that it is meant to be easy. It’s really hard and I miss all of the comforts and familiar surroundings of home. I am not sure if my “new” home is where I am meant to be, but as they say all roads lead home. Eventually I will wake up in my bed, in whatever city it may be in and have that feeling, until then I am waiting.
While I am grateful and beyond appreciative of the situation that I am presently in, I can’t help to question the unknown. I am very fortunate to have a roof over my head and a job that I actually enjoy waking up to and going to on a daily basis. Did I make the right decisions? Perhaps I need to stop questioning myself and go with the flow, which is really a hard task for this Capricorn! It has already pointed out to me that while I think that this whole experience was a huge mistake, it is actually a learning experience, I just need to keep telling myself that! I am learning what I like and realizing quickly what I what out of my life.
The little blog and running hiatus of mine, due to the cold weather, has opened my eyes and I’ve decided to blow the whistle on myself! All of a sudden, it’s obvious that I’m not performing as well as I should be. It is time to put the legendary Capricorn self-discipline to work. I need to change my work methods and diversify my activities. All sorts of solutions are available to me, I have the whole world at my fingertips!
Today we are a little less than a month till my birthday and the New Year, and I’m not going to lie: I’ve spent the past couple of weeks feeling kind of down about where I am with my running, life and fitness lately. This has not been the year that I would have wished and expected it be. In a lot of ways, it feels like I am drowning on dry land and dancing in the dark. Not a great feeling I must admit and definitely not a productive and positive way to view life. I need to stop directing all of my negative energy on why I am at this standstill in my life and instead I need to start prioritizing my life, regrouping, and most importantly remembering all the reasons why I love running. The sun on my face, the wind in my hair, discovering new routes, to name a few. Running has taught me so many valuable lessons that I need be applying towards my daily life.
All of this negative energy does is bring me down, zap me of my energy, and make me feel like it’s not even worth trying anymore. Besides it’s blatantly not true. No, I haven’t done as much training for my upcoming Walt Disney World 10k and World Half Marathon as I would have liked, but I have about six weeks to get my act in gear and start training. I have enough time to train, right?! After all this is not my first rodeo! I have been looking forward to this race since I crossed the Goofy Finish line at the beginning of 2013 and I am not going to allow the road blocks of life to slow me down!
No, I may not be even remotely close where I want to be in my life, which brings me back to the title of this post; where in the world is Mel? I will need to accept and be proud of myself, where I am in my life, and fight like hell to make a better life for myself. As the expression goes, if you don’t like what you see in the mirror, change it. And that is exactly what I am going to do. Besides, if I keep consistent and diligent with all of endeavors including with my workouts, everything will fall into place and I will begin to not only be the person that I want to be, but also be the runner that I envision myself to be.
While we might only have one month left of the year, I fully intended to make the rest of 2013 count. I am going to wake up every morning with optimism that today is a new day and to believe in the power of the day. I am going to take full advantage of the promise that each new day holds. I’m eager to get out and hit the pavement again and reach my goals!
QOTD: I’m not too sure who is out there reading this, but I would love to hear from you. Please comment and share why you love to run and the hurdles that you have faced in your own running routines and how you over came them.